The first thing….you are a stranger. So I’m not going to like you from the beginning on. Sorry, but thats our lifestyle. Get over it.
You want to come to Vienna? Okay that makes you a bit more likeable, but not to much.
You must know one thing: I’m from Vienna!
I’m going to be nice if you ask me for the way to the next metro station (this is called U-Bahn, nothing else). We have to be a bit nice to tourists, thats what I learned, maybe from the newspaper.
You want to know something about me? About me? And then what? You see. It makes no sense. Thanks for your understanding.
I know what you think! I know it exactely! You are wrong (you must be wrong, because I’m always right). There are stereotypes about us, admit it – you know them all. So lets see…
I) We girls in Vienna wear a “Dirndl”, every fucking day (sorry, but we here use words like this, without the *** you might read somewhere else).
II) For breakfast we must have coffee. No coffee, no day, no Vienna, no universe, not life. Got it? Our coffee is said to be famous, maybe in Europe. I don’t know why. It tastes a bit bitter.
III) Then we go to the market, most of the time the Naschmarkt, to do our shopping. There we eat lunch and have the first wine of the day (11.30 am the latest).
IIII) Now its time for the church (we sinned..the wine..remember?). Of course not for religious purpose. We just have too many of them to ignore at all. Lets take the most famous one, the Steffl. You might know it as Stephansdom (far too long word for us).
V) Time for a walk through the non-touristic street Kärntnerstrasse. The Haas house is sort of famous but we don’t care. Modern architecture when you can have something from….well I don’t really know when it was build, but it’s damn old.
VI) The way we viennese people spend the afternoon is obvious: we take a ride on the giant wheel. Ours is from 1894 and so it’s the best (because it’s old). I guess you got the point? Finally!
VII) Now we are tired because it was an exciting ride with 2,7 kph. So we have…coffee! Better with view over the Steffl at Bloom Bar. The service is bad, the prices high, and the view stunning. Excactely how we like it here!
PS: There are typical ways to spend the evenings and the nights here. I’m going to tell you when we know each other better (maybe in 1 or 2 years).