January 2015: Maybe I was the only person who was NOT using tinder? It seemed so. But here is the naive truth: the last time I had dates, we simply TALKED 2 each other. In bars, at the beach, on the street, busstation….you got it?
After two weeks of guys starring at my tanned legs, without TALKING to me, I was frustrated.
I wanted to shout at them…”I’m not here for your entertainment, stupid.”
But it was not the right time for holding the “I will not yield” poster up.
It was time to jump into the stream and find out whereto they were swimming.
My first tinder impression was that I threw blood into the water. The sharks appeared. Immediately. I thought of changing my profile into “If your first message is HI, don’t waste our time”. Funny enough: Later I did it, but not from the beginning.
And I set up some tinder rules for not getting spamed with boring messages.
I realised that you have to spend a lot of time with this app, and still it was not easy sorting out the boring guys (>they are those with a Porsche ((and a inflated self-confidence (and most of them work as a consultant))).
Although we talk about equality, feminism etc…I was NOT in the mood writing the first message. “Hi” began fading away from my vocabulary.
But there was Marius*, extremely creative pictures, a relaxed guy, and he let all doors open for me. Less words, but every sentence evoked an attractive attitude.
Can you build up trust or feel attraction via an app?
The answer is no. But you can…start something. Sometimes: Something good turning into something great.
The bonfires light our way.
The paper laterns do the same. WE eat, we talk, we laugh. We walk down the whole beach to eat at the very last restaurant.
I’m feeling comfortable. I’m feeling cozy and really relaxed. WE are of the same kind. Made of the same wood, who have been driven by the flow to different places.
It seems naturally that the stream has brought us both to this place.
Its not like that I really feel attraction. In fact, I don’t think he feels attracted to me. He is not behaving like it, not even after so many hours we spent together. Not even while me sitting in this tiny black skirt next to him. I’m surprised, but I don’t care. I’m not expecting anything anymore.
His company is pleasant. And I feel warmed.
Not only by the bonfires, which are nearly lapsing, when we dicide to leave to bar. I have no idea what time it is, but the beach and the bars are nearly empty, there are no people left.
While talking we figured out that I’m really NOT related to nature. In fact, I’m a CITYGIRL (the total opposite to him).
And thats the reason why I’m not seeing it untill he shows me:
the thousands of tiny little sparkling lights on the sand and in the water. Illuminating plancton!
Its the first time I see it, and the ground seems to be a mirror of the sky…twinkling with hunderts of stars.
The water is warm, and we swirl up the sparkles with our feet.
I stare at the ground.
And then I stare at the sky.
Its the perfect night.
He’s the perfect company.
Because he’s not disturbing me starring at those little wonders. Not too early.
And when he pulls me to him
and when he kisses me
my world stands still
not because its a kiss
on a romantic night
at a romantic beach.
But because this kiss
a kiss – like millions of kisses given every second
A kiss – like no kiss given before!
And I’m completely lost.
And completely happy.
*Whats in a name!