When I started my trip alone, people tried to make me believe that the world is made of two types of guys: the ones want to kiss, others to rob you. I had to listen to lectures what could happen, because “you are travelling alone as a w.o.m.a.n.”. It was really a pain in the…neck.
Guess what: most of the attacks against women are from somebody they know.
I’ve never thought about it until I dated a guy the first time, and we took a walk on a completely deserted beach at night. And suddenly I realized that noboby is going to notice if something goes wrong (it didn’t).
I don’t want to scare you. This world is a much safer place than people think. Still it’s never wrong taking care of oneself!
Here are my golden tips for a safe date!
- Let somebody know about your date.
This can be a text message to one of your friends at home. If you feel really insecure, you can ask them to text you after 2 hours to make sure you are fine. Its also a good excuse if the guy bores you to death – you have to go because your friend needs you. If your date stays at the same hotel, its never wrong making sure that the guy at the reception sees you departing together.
- Don’t get into his car!*
Never on the first date, you don’t know him well enough. If he’s really a nice guy, he understands. Trust me.
- Lie: You have friends in this city!
I always get the “Are you travelling alone?” question. My answer: Yes I am, but I have a friend in this city. We used to work together and then he (its always a male friend) got a joboffer here. Today I have time for our date, because my friend has to work.
- Meet in a crowded restaurant, bar, club.*
I use to arrive first and check a way to leave without him noticing (also because sometimes people turn out to be idiots stealing my time).
- Too much information?*
I got questions such as: “Do you often have contact with your friends? Do they always know at which place you are? Do they know who you are with?” My red flags rised!
BTW: answer honestly “Sorry but I don’t know you at all, and I don’t feel comfortable with your questions. I’m not going to answer you.” Sometimes people were just worried about me and didn’t realize that I may get them wrong.
- Spending more time together:
Go to your place. Don’t underestimate the home field advantage. Here a woman usually feels more comfortable (again, the guy at the reception is your best friend when you arrive together. Never feel embarrassed).
- Trust your gut-feeling!
If you don’t feel comfortable, leave. After 5 minutes or 2 hours. To hell with politeness, if your inner alarm is on there may be a good reason why. You don’t owe your date anything.
I know, you may feel like in your teenage years after all these advices. But realize: you are dating a guy you don’t really know, at a place where no-one knows you (or cares about you).
Stay safe and date well!
* I got these advices from a bodyguard I really trust.